Dear Haya,
I’m in my mid-20s and have a lot of trouble sleeping on time. Constant thoughts about career and personal life keep me up at night and I really struggle to rest.
After a long day at work, I usually anticipate bedtime, but the minute I try to sleep, negative feelings take over and I go into a spiral of overthinking, so much so that I often experience extreme anxiety due to it. I’ve tried working on it by trying my best to hit the bed on time and have even tried calming teas and ointments to relax myself, but all of it has been in vain.
I haven’t explored going to a therapist yet with hopes that I’d be able to manage this on my own before seeking professional help. It’s been a few months and I’m now worried about my mental health.
Do you have any suggestions on how to navigate this situation?
Dear anon,
Thank your for sharing such a heart felt concern. What you have described is something many people silently struggle with, but few say it out loud. It truly takes courage to put it into words.
From what I'm hearing, you have trouble sleeping on time. Thoughts about your career and your personal life keep you up at night and these are two very valid concerns of life that shape up a significant portion of our lives.
The minute you try to rest, your mind gets flooded with thoughts and negative feelings taking over and leading you to feeling anxious. You have tried to manage these symptoms by using calming teas, ointments, and trying to sleep on time which shows that you're trying your best, but none of it has helped.
And the bitter truth is, it won't.
Not because you're doing anything wrong, but because what you are experiencing is internal distress and the remedy you are using is external. These strategies touch upon the surface, not the source.
Sure, your symptoms manifest externally. For example, trouble sleeping, over thinking etc but the root source is internal. It could be due to unprocessed emotions, ongoing stress, unresolved fears, and a nervous system that is holding more than its capacity. What you are feeling is not random, it's a reflection of what needs your attention on the inside.
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You can have all the teas in the world, but unless you look inward and work through what your mind and body are holding, nothing truly shifts.
Often, night time does this. Once the responsibilities of the day end, the mind gets a quiet moment and everything that we haven't addressed gets louder. Anxiety, at its core is often tied to fear of the future or uncertainty about something that has not been addressed.
The way to address this is not through a product or ritual (although you can continue if it feels good), but by gently leaning into the discomfort of what you are truly suppressing. It would require you to sit in silence, with your discomfort and ask yourself:
Sitting with these questions may feel difficult at first and that's completely normal. When we have spent months or years pushing emotions aside, the idea of turning inward can feel overwhelming. But this is exactly where healing begins — by allowing what is inside to have space instead of forcing it down.
As you start doing the inner work, you will slowly notice a shift. Your external symptoms will begin to quiet down. They are not random problems, they are signals. And once the signals are heard, the body no longer needs to shout.
Your body isn't malfunctioning, it's communicating. Asking for attention, care, and understanding.
Start here and see how it goes, this will aid you in making sense of your experience.
Last but not least, I would highly recommend for you to work with a therapist, not because you can't handle it, but because you don't have to handle all of it alone. Having someone guide you through these internal blocks can make the process less overwhelming and more effective.
Remember, half our battles are won when we seek support.
Best wishes,
Haya
Haya Malik is a psychotherapist, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, corporate well-being strategist and trainer with expertise in creating organisational cultures focused on well-being and raising awareness around mental health.
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