Kate Moennig reflects on sexual identity in new memoir: Report

Kate Moennig is pulling back the curtain on her journey of self-discovery and the pressures of queer representation in her new memoir So Gay for You: Friendship, Found Family, and the Show That Started It All, co-written with longtime friend and The L Word co-star Leisha Hailey.

In the book, Moennig reflected on navigating her sexuality while portraying the beloved lesbian character Shane McCutcheon during The L Word’s original 2004–2009 run. 

According to People, she recalled the intense public scrutiny she faced at the time and the assumption that she was closeted. 

In regards to this, she wrote, “I wasn’t ashamed — I just needed space to figure it out privately."

While speaking with People, Moennig explains that she resisted the media’s push for a definitive coming-out moment. 

Moreover, she said, “I wanted to have some element of control over my own narrative. There was this expectation to make a grand announcement, but I just wanted a moment to get to know myself.”

Additionally, the memoir also explored the deep friendship between Moennig and Hailey, who became a protective presence as Moennig dealt with fame, grief over her father's death, and the confusion of identity behind the scenes. 

As per the outlet, Hailey wrote, “In our bubble, Kate was free, flourishing,” while adding that she refused to out her co-star despite media pressure.

Now openly identifying as a lesbian, Moennig credits a piece of advice from friend and Dead to Me creator Liz Feldman, she shared, “Don’t come out, just be out. To me, her words meant live for yourself first and the rest will follow."