Thursday Aug 06, 2020
Katy Perry came forth laying bare all about her insecurities, uncertainty and the fact that she found resilience in surviving the 'darkest days.'
While the songstress is busy promoting her new album Smile, she did acknowlege how the COVID-19 pandemic has altered the world.
In the wake of the virus outbreak, Perry was forced to cancel her planned destination wedding and push the release of her record further ahead.
"Every day your options change, and you don't know what's what. Especially being pregnant in a pandemic, it's an emotional rollercoaster," the American Idol judge, 35, told to PEOPLE in its latest cover story.
"Having a great partner, having a sound mind, continuing to do the work, I'm not as flinchable," she added after recovering from deep depression over the last several years with a combination of medication, therapy and support from loved ones.
"I'm not untouchable or invincible, but it's a little bit more like water off a duck's back," Perry said.
The Teenage Dream singer also reflected on her musical journey thus far.
"After being on a rocket ship and just going straight up, it was just a small change in the trajectory, but it felt seismic," said Perry, who had also put her then-yearlong romance with Orlando Bloom on a break.
"It's been two-and-a-half years of trying to find my footing. It's so easy for me to work, work, work and avoid, but I had to go on a mental and spiritual journey."
Her lowest moments felt like a "nightmare," says Perry. "You feel like you're being attacked, and you can't wake up."
"How could I have felt that so powerfully to the point where my body was seizing?" she muses now. "We all have negative conversations going on in your head that can take the wheel. You have to take the wheel back, and I definitely did."
"It got me out of this desperate loop of being the best pop star ever. I just really want to be a human being and have the dimension of life," said Perry, who's embracing a future filled with "family and love and laughing and coziness."
Now, "I get to live life, and I get to bring life into the world," she added. "Finding the gratitude in this pain has been a real journey, but the outcome is worth it."