Flawlessness is a dangerous, high-budget myth, and it’s time we shattered it: Sonam Kapoor

“Flawlessness is a dangerous, high-budget myth, and it’s time we shattered it”

Bollywood actress Sonam Kapoor, recently wrote a blog for the entertainment website Buzzfeed, in which she tackles issues that women face today related to body image, self-confidence, Bollywood’s portrayal of beauty and the need to embrace your flaws.

“Like every girl, I spent many nights through adolescence leaning into my bedroom mirror, wondering why my body looked nothing like it should,” Sonam expresses the fears she faced when she was a teenager and did not fit the image of a how a girl at that age “should” look.

She also talks about how in our culture, fair skin is considered beautiful while dusky skin is considered unappealing. “Itni lambi, itni kaali,” a relative casually let slip at a family gathering. “Shaadi kaun karega?”

The blog also talks about how despite being offered the leading role for her debut Bollywood film ‘Saawariya’, her self- image was so low that she constantly dreaded the fact that she would have to wear outfits that would highlight her ‘flaws’ and that her body would be a result of the movie’s failure. “I constantly worried that, if asked to dance in a backless choli, rolls of back fat would give me away as an imposter to the industry. Nobody lines up to buy tickets to see cellulite.”

Sonam talks about how her insecurities and kind ‘advices’ given to her by friends and family led to her embarking on a series of unhealthy diets which led her to develop unhealthy eating habits and health concerns. She also talks about how movies have led to guys having unreasonable expectations of how a girl “should” look like. “At 18, I went on a date that I thought went well. Later, the boy told our mutual friend that “Sonam is too big”. I didn’t eat for a day.”

“Far from accepting my body once I was making a living as an actress, I was shown new reasons to hate it,” Sonam states as she talks about how after becoming an actress, people would point out even the tiniest flaws on screen and that it affected her so much that she became her very own worst critic. “Eventually, I didn’t even need the tabloids to point out my flaws – I could look at myself on camera monitors and predict what would be criticized.”

“We’ve been taught that women need to be flawless even when our flawlessness is wildly implausible.” In the other half of the blog, Sonam talks about how not her but every women in the world has been subjected to some sort of criticsm over her appearance and how she personally was lucky enough to have her sister Rhea and her friends who taught her that her flaws actually made her her. Those flaws are what made her different and unique from others- it’s what makes her stand out from amongst the crowd and stresses the need for women to support and champion each other instead of bringing each other down. “All the women who’ve championed me have taught me that kind, genuine support can change your friend’s or sister’s or colleague’s life.” She states that she is now happy with her body despite what others have to say about it, “Today, at 31, I like my body because it’s healthy. I’m done celebrating thinness or flawlessness.”

“I know now that there’s nothing wrong with stretch marks, cellulite, or scars. They’re markers of our growth. There’s beauty in their realness.”

She went on to write, “think of how much better your day is when it starts with a compliment. Think of how easy it is to give that to someone else. Do it every chance you get.”