Louis Tomlinson says One Direction breaking up felt like 'the end'

Louis Tomlinson went into a dark place after his band One Direction broke up at the peak of their success in 2015.

Tomlinson, who was one of the five members of the popular boy band, made the admission as he looked back on his career during his How Did We Get Here? World Tour stop at Madison Square Garden on Wednesday, July 8

“I’ve been reflecting, I’ve been thinking about my whole career,” the 34-year-old began.

He went on to recall how he actually auditioned for X Factor twice in a row, having failed to go through the first time. “I was 17… I was just bawling my eyes out. I was like, ‘I f***ing really want this. I really, really want this.’ And you know, at that age, it’s kind of difficult to deal with that kind of shit,” he shared.

Luckily, he didn’t give up and auditioned again the next year. That’s when One Direction was formed, comprising Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, and the late Liam Payne.

“I f***ing cherished every single year we had in that band – that was incredible. And then there was a time where that wasn’t a thing anymore, whatever we called it, f***ing hiatus,” Tomlinson recalled about the band taking a hiatus and eventually breaking up for good after Malik’s sudden exit in 2015.

He explained, “I was kind of in that same place again. I was like, ‘I really f***ing want this – I don’t want to let this go. I f***ing love doing what I do. I couldn’t really, maybe to my own detriment, I couldn’t really see the finish line right now or even see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was kind of worried that might be the end for me.”

However, that was not the case as Tomlinson went on to have a successful solo career.

“And I want you guys to know,” continued Tomlinson, “I simply would not have the f***ing confidence to get up at a place like MSG. It's terrifying. I fell really, really, really f***ing proud of what we’ve created.”