November 10, 2022
Jennifer Lopez shed light on the matter of why her previous relationships and marriages, before tying the knot with Ben Affleck, were not successful.
The Marry Me actor said that she always put others first and never cared for her own happiness which is why she never felt “happiness” in past love affairs.
"I just didn’t understand what it was to care for myself, to not put somebody else’s feelings and needs—and your need for them to love you—in front of taking care of yourself," J.Lo told Vogue.
Lopez revealed that she used to “put herself second” while “thinking that's a noble thing” and realized that “it’s not.”
“Those patterns become deep patterns that you carry with you, and then at a certain point you go, 'Wait, this doesn’t feel good,” she added. "Why am I never happy?”
“I really felt that way for a long time. And finally, I was just like, 'Ugh! It’s time to figure me out because I need to be good for these babies.’"
The Hollywood diva admitted that it "took years and years" to "really put the pieces together" despite having "all the willingness" to change herself.
Before exchanging vows with the Argo star, Lopez was married to Marc Anthony, with whom she shares her twins, Max and Emme, and also to Chris Judd and Ojani Noa.
“I have to forgive myself for the things that I did that I’m not proud of, the choices that I made that worked against me,” she said of how she’s working to recover from failed relationships.
“Self-love is really about boundaries. Learning what you’re comfortable with and putting up the boundaries, not being afraid of the consequences.”
“Knowing that in taking care of yourself, everything will turn out OK, that people will treat you the way you want to be treated and your life will feel good to you,” she said.
“For a long time, I was just like, ‘Yes, do whatever you want! I can take it, I’ll be here, because I’m really strong, and I’ll be fine.’ Little by little, it chips away at your self-worth, your self-esteem, your soul.”