Demi Lovato explains why she has mixed feelings about body positivity

Demi Lovato has come a long way on her eating disorder recovery journey, but she admits she still has a long way to go.

The Grammy-nominated singer, 33, is one week away from releasing her first-ever cookbook, One Plate at a Time, which she notes also comes with “some reflections I’ve had throughout my journey in recovery from disordered eating.” On Thursday, March 11, she shared an excerpt highlighting some of these reflections, including one about “body image.”

The former Disney star noted that eating disorders are characterized by two things: relationship with food and relationship with one’s body. Lovato noted that though she has healed her relationship with the former, the latter still needs work.

“Being on camera always brings up body image issues for me, and being in the public eye as I have been from a very young age meant there were always plenty of people eager to give unsolicited comments about my weight and appearance,” the Camp Rock star writes. “That’s hard to tune out, especially when you are young.”

Lovato then admitted that she has “ambivalent feelings” about the body positivity movement. “I don’t always feel positive in my body,” she reflects, adding, “I think this kind of unconditional love is really out of reach for a lot of people who struggle with body image, and if you don’t feel 100 percent in love with the body you’re in, it just feels like another type of failure.”

For now, the Sonny with a Chance alum is taking things one day at a time. “Sometimes when [I] catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I reflexively think, ‘Ugh, I hate my legs.’ But then I think about how those same legs let me stand up and walk past that mirror, and it feels like a small win. I’m focusing on gratitude rather than weight or size: gratitude for the health and functionality of my body, even if it doesn’t fit someone else’s definition of ‘perfect.’”

Last month, Lovato marked National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. “I am a work in progress and this is something i am still working on every day, but today, i am taking a moment to celebrate my journey and how far I’ve come.”